What other people are saying

Here's an article written last spring by a Bay Area columnist whom has some questions about people like me.

Who needs weatherman to see which way the wind blows?

By MARVIN GOODWIN
Of The Daily Oakland Press

Ahh spring, the time where warm thoughts of imminent pleasant weather collide with the reality of Michigan's unpredictable climate - and loses.

Playing baseball and softball in a Michigan spring is a crapshoot, with the likelihood of cold, sleet, rain, even snow threatening to postpone high school, college and even Detroit Tigers games.

Postponements don't occur as often in the major leagues because of all the indoor facilities for baseball and other sports.

But it's a different story for budget-strapped high school and college baseball and softball teams, who can only dream of indoor facilities.

For those teams, we pay particular attention to our TV weather forecasters because of all the sports we love to watch, baseball is the most vunerable to Mother Nature.

I'm speculating here, but I think those previous statements were enlightening to only a few of you. But here's something that is puzzling to all of you.

What do our TV weather forecasters really do?

We know they forecast the weather. But what are they doing when they're off the air? It's a mystery.

You've got a weather person on an hour newscast and they come on camera for about 3 1/2 minutes - tops. They tell us what kind of weather we're going to have - basically they can condense their weatherspeak to a minute - then they're off the air.

What are they doing the rest of the day? Are they spending hours viewing the weather computer, evaluating important data with expert precision? Are they tuning up the Doppler radar for exact predictions of the coming days?

Are they hanging out at the water cooler?

For all we know, they might have their feet casually propped up on the weather desk while getting their info from ye olde Farmer's Almanac.

Who knows, because we only see them for a couple of minutes - then they're gone.

Poof!

And some of them are pulling down six-figure salaries, too.

Another puzzling fact about weather forecasters is that TV stations around here find it necessary to keep four or five of them on the payroll. I might be mistaken, but how often do you need a break if you're on the air for only five minutes a day?

What a gig, being a TV weather forecaster, standing in sharp outfits in front of the camera a few minutes, waving your arms across a map of the Great Lakes states.

Fog may be coming into Clarkston, and rain is forecast for Rochester, but our TV weather forecasters always have a way of putting a bright spin on things as they smile and look infectiously happy.

You've also probably noticed that most TV weather forecasters aren't creepy looking either. In fact, many of them are quite gorgeous - even the guys.

The fact that so many TV weather forecasters aren't creepy looking leads me to believe that's a requirement stipulated in their contracts, which are probably worded like this: "Whereas a weather person who takes his or her place in front of a television camera for purposes of forecasting weather to persons up to and including those who have qualified receivers subscribing to a telecast, it is expressly forbidden to look, appear, act or be creepy.

"In the event a forecaster begins appearing, walking, talking and exuding mannerisms, expressions and character of a creepy persuasion, said forecaster will be reprimanded according to company policies up to and including termination."

With a laid back gig of being a TV weather forecaster, you've almost got to want to be fired.

Ladies and gentlemen, we've missed our calling. Given the option of doing our current jobs and being a TV weather forecaster, we all should've been in the line for the latter.

Unfortunately, many of us are doing a balancing act on the creepy-looking factor, especially in the morning. But don't fret. Even Mount Everest was conquered.

(Marvin Goodwin is an Oakland Press sports writer. You can e-mail him at marvin.goodwin@oakpress.com.)